Another classic....
Seeing as my personal; status is now "Divorced", I decided to
test the waters and meet some new people. That's right....I
decided to try online dating......
Cheap bastard that I am, I went to one of those free sites, read
a bunch of profiles and noticed a few things:
Now that I've been on here a while, there's a few things I've
noticed........common threads among the profiles I read.......:
- A lot of people love to laugh, and have fun. Do you really
expect someone not to? - Everyone's nice: Why do I say that? Because they say so in
their profile. I'm still waiting for the one that says "I'm an
absolute b**ch...." - No liars: If someone's a liar, do you really expect them to
admit it? Or is it possible that's why they're called liars? - No cheats: See #3 above.
- Someone who knows the value of hard work: Seriously?
Does it matter that much how a man achieves success? - Search on income level: Materialistic much? And do you
really expect someone to answer this truthfully? We might end
up having trouble with the taxman..... - Good moral values: Still waiting for the one who says "I
have no sense of values, morals or ethics...." - Check your spelling: There's a big difference
between "moral values" and "morale values" (I guess those are
values related to your happiness?) - Must have a photo to contact this user: Either they're
hung up on looks, or they want to make sure they're not trying
to date their neighbor, ex, dad, professor or maybe even
priest...... - Must not be looking for Friends: So are you looking for
enemies?
What I find really amusing is how many people attempt to put
their best foot forward......and fail miserably. A few words of
advice for the ladies......
- Action photos are great, so long as we can see who you are.
- If your only picture is a group shot, please caption it so we
know which person in the photo is you. Not doing so could make
for an awkward situation...... - If your photo involves a trailer, not of the travel or
conatruction/temporary classroom variety, you may want to crop
or consider another photo. There are many negative stereotypes
out there. - If you have a picture with a car, make it a special car. A
picture with an old muscle car shows an interest, a hobby. A
picture with a hoopdee Corolla....not so much. - Boobs: Every guys favorite subject. Now, I know many
popular women's fashions invilve some form of cleavage.
However, when you're bent forward at an almost 90 degree
angle, it's obvious you're trying to show them off. And there are
a lot of pervs out there.
It also seems like there are a few "must have" photos that everyone should have:
- A photo while driving the car, taken by yourself.
- A photo taken in the bathroom mirror. Bonus points if we can see the camera or the flash obscures the shot.
- A photo with another family member.
- A photo taken at a bar, so we'll think you're a fun person.
- The gratuitous boob shot(s). See #5 above.
So tomorrow, I re-write my profile, and spell it out for y'all.
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